so shit definitely got bad there for a little while.

i felt kicked in the gut over and over and thought that there was no way i would get everything back in order.

just under two months later and it's all looking up.

i got rid of my apartment in winnipeg. i was a little bit torn, leaving it sucked but at the same time saving the money is crucial at this point. and now that' i'm gone i'm happy to be out of the city. i miss my friends there yeah but everything out here is just so much less harsh. everyone's so nice, so welcoming.

i got a couple jobs, working full time in an office and part time serving. so that money can start coming in any time now.

either way, everything's just good right now and i honestly wouldn't have it any other way. i'm busier than i imagined but it's good, better than sitting around.

for once during all this i wish i felt like someone had my back.
this shit's getting so out of hand.
i miss D more than i ever imagined and she just left.

There's something that I would really like to do. But, I think that I have built up walls so high and even though I was one that built up these walls, there's no way that I can take them down. So, I'm in a bind. I want to do it so bad, but for some reason, my heart and my mind won't allow me to do it. It's like it permanently shut itself off to the thought of it long ago. And it's the strangest feeling when you realize that's what's happening.