Flaws

I always get the urge to write something really meaningful on this blog, something that will make a difference in somebody's life and something that has meaning, but everytime I begin to write, i just feel like I can't. Like what I have to say shouldn't be put on the net for everyone to read but by not writing what I am really thinking, there is no way for me to make a difference in anyone's life.
So for this blog, i think that I am going to write about a few changes that I feel that I need to make in my life. That way I have something that will keep me accountable and maybe I will actually make some changes.
The first and main thing is the fact that I need to let people in, when i need help with something I need to tell them and if I tell them that I don't need help not get mad when they don't help me. I also need to relax, not feel that everything needs to be so clean all the time and so rushed, but rather just to have a good time. Enjoy what's going on around me. I think that this is something that is very important for me to do because I don't do it right now. I mean, I enjoy myself and most of the stuff that goes on, but if the dishes aren't done and they are piling up or if thigns are somewhat out of place I get frustrated and i feel that it needs to be done asap and it really doesn't need to be like this. I can relax have a good time and not be so high strung. It's a major flaw of mine and i really don't like that I am like that but it's also sort of a difficult thing to change.
However, even though these two things make up a small part of my personality and I do realize that one's personality is very difficult to change it's soemthing that I feel I must do and I must work hard at it. That's the heartfelt bit of this post

Today Andy and Ashley are coming over for a bbq. I'm pretty stoked it should be pretty delicious. My sister came over and stayed last night. We went to the tavern for drinks and then came here and went to bed. It was pretty laid back but for some odd reason I find it difficult to stay up late, i get so tired so quickly and i don't know why, i just always feel tired.
I wrote myself up a pretty extensive workout/diet plan so I am really hoping that I will be able to stick to it and actually lose some serious weight and keep it off. My goal is to be 130 by october. This isn't that unreasonable. That would be losing 30 pounds in 5 months. I just have to keep up going to Shapes and eating healthier. My biggest problem is snacking as I do it way way too often and this results in a lot of extra calories. I also don't drink enough water which is something that is very very important and paid a large part in me losing 10 pounds in a month.
Okay this is good so far, I am keeping up on posting...2 in 3 days!! Even though I am pretty sure no body reads this. I should maybe think about giving the blog address out...