Half of my Heart

So it’s been a couple days and I really don’t know how much I’ll be posting for the next 5 months. I know that I always say that and then post a whole bunch but this time for real, I have no idea about an internet connection. This might be the way that friends/family will have to keep in touch.

When I got here I freaked out. ( you can read about the place on my other blog) Those of you who know me and know me pretty well will know what I mean. I was scared and I felt alone. Amongst all these people I felt alone and I didn’t think I could handle it. I wondered why I came all the way to Australia to be in the middle of nowhere working my ass off and sweating like nobody’s business. But the money is good, no the money is amazing. I am making 22$ an hour to serve and to clean rooms and it’s really not that bad. I think that if I ever have a kitchen shift it might break me though. There’s a reason I don’t do dish bitch at home. I can’t stand it. But I think that I’ll be coming home with money if I stick this job out. I think I’ll be able to pay off my credit card and even have some money when I get back home. So, I’m trying to look at it optimistically, and even though it’s hard I think it’ll work out and really it’s only 2 and half months.

I was talking to a girl the other day and she told me that they have blocked facebook and hotmail on the server here and it made me feel a bit trapped. There’s a place a little ways down the road that has internet though so that was good to find out. Then we can at least go there and send people messages.

The girls here drink…a lot and I’m not so into that so I don’t know if I’ll make a lot of friends here because that’s all they do, because there isn’t anything else to do. I have to save my money though and drinking costs a lot of money.

I don’t know if my mom remembers this or not but when I was young I did a co-op ed thing at the health sciences center and she took me to a small apartment type thing there to stay in for the week and it was scary. When she left she made sure I was okay and everything but then when she closed the door I started bawling and that was sort of the feeling I had when I got here. I didn’t cry though. It’s just, I can’t even begin to explain what it’s like. Although the other day when I was walking back to my room from Hannah’s there was a kangaroo that was like 5 feet away, that was really cool.

It’ll be nice to leave here and once we do we only have 2 months before we come home and I’m so excited. I know that it’s pretty far away but it’s going to be amazing to be home again. You definitely change a lot when you travel…especially for so long. I guess you change at home as well in 7 months but you realize a lot about yourself when you’re on your own. And I feel alone. I know that we’re meeting tons of people and it’s supposed to be amazing and for the most part it is, but it is lonely. Maybe I’m just having a down day but to not be able to get a giant hug from your family and friends whenever you need kind of sucks. Everyone be prepared for plenty of hugs when I get home.