I just realized that this will be my very first christmas without my sister here christmas morning. Apart from when I was in Australia, but that didn't really feel like christmas so it doesn't count. The one constant in my life.
Her and I have this tradition where every christmas morning for as long as I can remember one of us would wake up at 4 in the morning and go wake up the other one and sneak out to check out the tree and then go back to one of our rooms and play skipbo or monopoly or whatever game we could think of to try and pass the time when we could go wake up mom. Yes, we still did this when we were in our twenties.
She'll be out for 7 days shortly after christmas, over new years, but it won't be the same. There won't be a christmas morning. For the last 3 or 4 years now mom, dariane and I have been going to some family friends christmas day and skipping any other gathering that someone decided to have on that day. We've been lucky to be able to do this. Jack and Del are some special special people. Del really is my second mom. She gives me shit probably worse than my mom. This will be the first year without Dariane there for dinner. I think we might ask Del to do it all over again when D comes out. I remember the first time we went there we had just left a ridiculously stressful family event and got there just as everyone was sitting down for supper. We just laid on the couches in the living room and relaxed. It felt cozy, we felt safe, and it felt like we were at home, even though it was the first time we had ever been to their place in the city.
This post is all over the place I know. But i'm just feeling a little sad this morning as I look over at all the gifts I've wrapped that this will be the first year without my sister here.
Her and I have this tradition where every christmas morning for as long as I can remember one of us would wake up at 4 in the morning and go wake up the other one and sneak out to check out the tree and then go back to one of our rooms and play skipbo or monopoly or whatever game we could think of to try and pass the time when we could go wake up mom. Yes, we still did this when we were in our twenties.
She'll be out for 7 days shortly after christmas, over new years, but it won't be the same. There won't be a christmas morning. For the last 3 or 4 years now mom, dariane and I have been going to some family friends christmas day and skipping any other gathering that someone decided to have on that day. We've been lucky to be able to do this. Jack and Del are some special special people. Del really is my second mom. She gives me shit probably worse than my mom. This will be the first year without Dariane there for dinner. I think we might ask Del to do it all over again when D comes out. I remember the first time we went there we had just left a ridiculously stressful family event and got there just as everyone was sitting down for supper. We just laid on the couches in the living room and relaxed. It felt cozy, we felt safe, and it felt like we were at home, even though it was the first time we had ever been to their place in the city.
This post is all over the place I know. But i'm just feeling a little sad this morning as I look over at all the gifts I've wrapped that this will be the first year without my sister here.
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