D gives my resume to someone so that maybe I can get a sweet job. In exchange, I go for lunch with the grandparents to make it more bearable for her. We look after each other.

Apparently all it takes is me moving away for people to want to hang out. Funny how that works. I'm not excited by any means to move away but I do feel like there's a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and for that I am happy.

me...rambling...because it's time to start posting again.

I really really can't stand cryptic facebook statuses but this week, with everything that's been going on, I've been so tempted far too many times.
Tonight we're having a girls night with my 3 most favorite ladies and mojitos and bean enchiladas. To say these ladies can make everything better, even if it's just for a little while would be an understatement. Maybe i'll try and take some photos...although I don't have a camera. maybe my photobooth on mr. macbook will get some action.
It's amazing how you only realize how different you are from certain people when you're around them. And it's crazy how you can be at such a different stage in your life only with a couple year's difference. It's also really annoying when people talk about age. Unless you're friends with a 40 year old and you're my age, there's really no reason to ever bring it up.
We just decided that a conveyer belt in the hallway would be ideal. Because we're all far too lazy to do any serious walking down the hall. Amber thinks we're going to find one at a garage sale. The benefit of not working monday to friday early in the morning, I actually get to see my room mates and i love it.
This is enough rambling. I have studying, showering, knitting, and coffee drinking to get done.

I'm not in a good mood. Not at all, I had a shitty day at work, and have a lot of big decisions that I need to make in the next week. I'll probably blog about it. Because I don't have anyone that I want to burden with my nonsense, but i'm going to need an outlet somehow, and going to need to rationalize all of this outside of my head.

I'm just stressed out, tired, and need a damn good cry.

I am the luckiest person, ever. I have 2 of the greatest best friends I could ever ask for. I would most definitely be completely lost without them 95% of the time.

WARNING: This is going to be a rant. I know that I never blog anymore, and to start back doing it or even just posting this, probably shouldn't be what I should be doing, (worst sentence ever) I'm going to do it anyways. Everything is excellent in my life at the moment, so don't think i'm depressed over this or anyways, I just need to get it off my chest and a certain lovely lady who I would vent to is far away in America.

People really get to me when they write passive aggressive or cryptic facebook statuses. Regardless of whether or not they are directed at me. Then when you ask them about them, they don't tell you. Like man up, and face your fucken problems. Telling someone is really only going to make you feel better. Secondly, if you're not doing anything and you're bored make an effort to get out there. For example, why is it my responsibility to send you a message to hang out? If you want to hang out, message me. If I'm free and don't have nine million things to get done, the chance that I say yes are high. And the majority of the time, I don't have nine million things to get done. I'm just so sick of people not getting off their ass and coming up with their own shit to do and relying on someone else to do it for them but then complaining about how they have nothing to do. If you have nothing to do and you're bored, fucken do something.

ok, I could get so much more deep into that but I'm just done I think. I'm just annoyed right now.

it's about damn time

i'm working on an assignment for school and making a self monitoring chart for a volleyball player during practice. i just wrote down "direct hand to ball contact" and started laughing uncontrollably for 5 minutes. i have the mind of a 13 year old teenage boy...awesome.

well i know what i want and what i want's right here with you.

I haven't posted anything in a little while. And I'm not done my sports psyc assignment yet, but I'm posting anyways, because I'm putting off showering and getting dressed. Actually just putting off leaving my room because I don't really feel like talking to anyone at the moment. Mainly because anytime I open my mouth I start coughing like a old hag who spent her entire life smoking. So attractive.

School's going to stress me out. I'm already stressed out thinking about it. I have like major breakout going on on my normally clear skin and I was talking to Katie about it last night and she was like it's probably because you're stressed out to which I responded with something like no I dont' really feel like I am, and she was like dude, you have no money, you have a full time job, you're doing school work, etc, etc. I guess I haven't really realized that I do actually have a lot going on right now and it is stressing me out more than I would like it too.

At this moment, I really need to motivate myself to get out of bed. I'm starving, and even though I have no food really because I can't afford to go grocery shopping, there's something out of all the random stuff I have that I could whip together. Like pancakes. Oh wait you need milk for that.

A couple days later...

Alright all my assignments are done now :) Last night we had a big delicious dinner here that I think we might try and make a tradition. Well I hope that we can because that would be awesome. Hopefully not always here because that might get to be a bit much but rotating it through our apartments would be nice. I think it's a good sunday ritual to have.

Our apartment is so incredibly cold right now, I don't know how much longer I can handle it. My feet have been freezing for a solid couple of days. I suppose it doesn't help that today I walked to second cup in the rain in this pair of boots that got absolutely soaked on the way there. When I got home I could literally wring out my socks. That's how wet they were.

I apologize that I've sucked at words lately. I don't want to spill my entire soul on this blog every day. Oh speaking of which here is a little rant. My father. Oh shocking I know that it's going to be about him. He was originally supposed to help me move into my new place. Well good thing that I didn't count on him because I've asked him to pick up my desk and my bbq from my old apartment to put into storage and he still hasn't. It's so frustrating, and then I called him about it the other day and he was like oh maybe next week we can do it in the morning before you have to go to work. Are you freaken kidding me. I work at 7 every morning and you want to do it before then? I'm so happy that I made the decision to get my stuff moved by someone else because he can't organize himself for five minutes to help me. And here's another rant. The people that I talk to every day already know both of these things. Anyways, the other day my Auntie Connie emails me to ask me about something regarding my grandpa's 90th birthday which is coming up. So I email her back saying "Hey Auntie Connie, blah blah blah" to which I get the response. "Just 'Connie' is fine, you're an adult now so you can call me that." It was something along the lines of that. I probably shouldn't be as offended as I was but I still haven't cooled down from that. Dariane and I both don't have a good relationship with that family over stuff from the past and then you have to go and pull that. I mean really, who cares what I call you, I see you once every 5 years anyways. Oh man, I'm mad. Sorry about all the gramatical errors.

Rant over.
Also blog over.
I'll do my best to post more words more often. As long as you guys won't kill me for writing shorter ones that come with pictures.


xoxo

So, as soon as I am done this sports psyc assignment, which will happen tonight, I will be writing a new blog. With words. and rants, and rambles. In the mean time I'm going to leave you with this awesome bath tub that I would like to be in my future house. Sorry to all of you that hate it when I post photos.

jar of hearts.

No I can’t take one more step towards you
Cause all that’s waiting is regret
And don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear your asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I would have missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now your back
You don’t get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

Words are coming soon. I have a lot to say.

this is really cool.

Alright that thing that I was doing was taking far far too long, and I'm impatient and actually have stuff that I need to get done today.




I found this earlier and instantly thought of Katie. This place would be really really cool.

It's been awhile since I've written much of anything. A lot's happened. Things are alright, some things keep setting me back and some things keep pushing me forward. I guess that's just the way that it is. Katie's back home so that makes me happy. Happy to have someone who's pretty much game for anything the majority of the time. My stuff is in between two places right now and it's driving me a little bit mad. I just want it all moved over. I'm going to miss living here with my sister but at the same time it would be nice to have everything settled into one place...and unpacked! I hate having stuff that is all packed up, drives me mad.

School starts right away and I'm excited. Nervous because i feel like I am going to be insanely busy with school and a full time job but excited because I'm going to be learning again. And I love the thought of that. I miss a year and I feel way behind on new information. I know that this may make me sound like a huge nerd but without a steady amount of new information I just get a little sad.

I got sidetracked with something that I'm going to do on this blog I think so I will post some words a bit later on.

I want to live here. forever. I don't think that anything could go wrong if I had this to wake up to every morning.

I really like this photo. I really like this girls hair color. Makes me want to dye mine that color but I always think that color is sort of trashy looking. Plus it reminds me of a certain old boss that I can't stand. In conclusion, it's super nice on her...not so nice on anyone else.

❝ When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. ❞

This is relevant to my life right now.
I'm so over it.

These are both beautiful. And go along with how I'm feeling today quite perfectly.

This makes me want to play piano again...and I'm not even that good.

I'm so happy that it's so close to fall. Favorite season by far.

love the way you lie.

I dont' like anything but this bands acoustic stuff but I really really like their acoustic stuff.

Also had my first pregnant dream ever. FREAKED ME OUT.

I'm tired and have had the laziest sunday ever. It's been awesome. Took a 3 hour nap. Unfortunately I don't feel refreshed at all...and I need to shower.

Dariane wants to go see Eat, Pray, Love so that's what we are going to do tonight. I don't know how much I want to see it but I'll give it shot. It may be good.

That's all for now. I can't believe that i haven't posted since Wednesday. I was doing so good there for awhile.

I had this entire blog written out about a lot of the shit that's going on right now. Instead of posting it, I'm going to talk to the people about it first. Maybe then, things can be fixed, and I can let go of this feeling that I have had for so long because it's seriously starting to bother me. As much as I've tried to put stuff aside and bottle it up it's probably not a good idea.

All of these photos are from 2008. It's weird to me because it doesn't seem like that is that long ago but things have changed so much since then.

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea

I know that I have posted this song a million times but it's forever going to be one of my favorites.

I want to do something like both of these things in my new room. The "stay awesome" one for sure. Not sure about the color of the wall or the word "dream" in that photo though. I just like the lights.

Katie and I used to buy these every time there was a change in season at safeway. Yummmmm

run from them with no direction

I'm going away for a while
But I'll be back, don't try and follow me
'cause I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistake

And run
From them
With no direction
We'l run from them, from them
With no conviction

Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Travelling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles
Well now I'm told that this life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it

Someone care to classify,
A broken heart and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

And run
To them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not
Useless
We are just
Misguided ghosts
Travelling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And theres no one role
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles

cards and quarters.

You know when you have a bunch of really awesome stuff to look forward to and everything just feels like it's going right in your life for the moment. I got that going on right now. If you care I'll post random photos...and explain why my life is awesome.

1. This lovely lady is going to be here in 15 minutes or so. I can't wait to see her. Even if it's only for a short while. She's fantastic.


2. Strath is coming in on Saturday. I haven't seen her in far far too long. We're going to drink..and cuddle (she doesn't know about the cuddling, it would creep her out). We have a bachlorette party to attend. I'll hook you all up with photos after it's over. (It took every bit of me not to type y'all instead of you all...damn)



Before the bachlorette party and on sunday I get to be in the company of these two beautiful girls for a little lunch time/pre drinking/getting ready/drinking and sunday a little fishing/drinking/swimming? It's going to be a riot. I love those two. We're missing a certain someone though. She knows who she is. And she's jealous.



So that's this weekend. Everything will be awesome. Then next weekend is Carly's wedding. I don't think I have any photos of her and I on this computer. I came across one the other day that I used to have in a frame. Then I realized the frames were cheap and tossed them.

Anyways, after much confusion (I just made it stressful for myself really) Colin's coming along with me to the wedding. He's a super fly date. Obviously. I have been told by Carly "I really want people to stay for the dance and make it a fun big party! I am expecting you to dance up a storm." I wonder if she remembers what happened at her social. Ugh. So hungover the next day. We're going to dance up a storm most definitely. It's just how we roll. I can't believe that it's been almost a year since I saw Colin last.




I have no idea why I felt it was necessary that we label our cups and take photos. But it's fantastic.

These few things plus several others that I can't mention on the blog are all reasons I'm super stoked for the next couple of weeks!!!!!

The end.

And I love you all.

Just having some dunkaroos while I wait for Janelle. No big deal. According to D and I these are absolute essentials when we go grocery shopping.
Mmmmm Poptarts. I would live off these if I could. No joke. They're pretty much my most favorite breakfast food besides eggs benny with Katie Strath...or solo.

Can you tell how hungry I am right now? I'd be mad that Janelle was taking forever except I love that kid to death and it's been far far too long since I saw her. So it's all good. I've only had dinner ready for the last 20 minutes. No big deal.

bats.

There was this one night in Australia that Hannah and I were hanging out with this guy...don't remember where he was from. I don't even remember his name but he was pretty awesome. I shared my alcohol with him. I never share my alcohol. Anyways...we were camping at Mission Beach and that was the night that we cracked open a coconut for the first time. So anyways we spent a lot of the night sitting around and talking. There was cane toads everywhere. It was disgusting. I sat with my feet off the ground the entire time and was terrified everytime I walked anywhere. We also saw a massive bat. I think that it was the first bat that we saw there besides the little ones in Dampier. This bat was massive, it was unreal. A few days later we were sitting around playing cards in Hervey Bay and we looked up to the sky and there was bats EVERYWHERE. There was thousands. It was one of the coolest things that I have ever seen. Anyways, this photo just reminded me of that night, so I thought I would share the little story.

Such an attractive couple.

I have my desktop set to change photos every 10 minutes and this one just showed up. Since when do I find this attractive? Too much hair gel, too many jocks...ugh..must delete photo. The end.

I registered for classes a couple days ago. Come fall I'll be learning all about people's personalities, how to eat properly, and how to motivate athletes. I'm pretty stoked. Not excited to have to do work but excited to actually be learning stuff again. I'm a fan of learning. You know how it goes. Not so much a fan of spending money so that I can learn. Uni should just be free, it would make my life so much easier.

The other day we went for dinner for my mom's birthday and the entire night the waiter was creeping on me. The entire night. We made the most awkward strange eye contact when my family was talking about me being single. Awesome. (sarcasm) The dinner was great though. Delicious. Happy Birthday Mom!!! Glad that we could actually somewhat pull off a surprise for you!

Our new apartment is coming along lovely. We just got our new bar table. It's beautiful. I can't wait to get in there and decorate. It's going to be just lovely. Not too long now. I've pretty much moved everything that I can from here already. I might get my dad to move something for me today if he can.

My car died today. Again...I think the starter is broken. I just don't know...always seems to be something wrong with it and I don't know how much a started is to fix but it's so lame! Maybe I should just get used to taking the bus again. It's not all that terrible. Just long and boring bus times but then I would start reading more and that would be a good thing. Speaking of that I should go to the u of m tomorrow to sort some stuff out and make sure that I can graduate in April. Probably need to get that done...considering I work monday to friday all the time.

I'm very very excited for the weekend. Katie is coming out on Saturday and we are attending a bachlorette party that night and then sunday going fishing with some of her friends. It should be a good time I hope.

Dariane wanted rambles so there is some words. Sorry it doesn't have much substance. I'm kind of annoyed at a few things right now and don't want to lose my mind on here. We'll talk soon ok?

I'll write more words tomorrow I promise. Maybe I'll even go old school and ramble for a bit. Let you know all the tiny little things going on in my life. Maybe.
Love love love.

Yummy

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
That is all.

Everything about this man (except his age) is fantastic.
Mom you're not married, and he's only 4 years younger than you. That seems just about right.

This is pretty much me every night, especially when I am alone.

in love.

Relevant, but way too hard to actually follow through with.
Also....damn I miss this show...before it started to suck.

Pretty much bang on. Although at the moment the size of each of those spots isn't completely accurate. I'm going to leave it at that however.

Never thought that I could become closer friends with someone even though I haven't seen them in a couple months. This has happened with a couple people this summer.

Please September, come faster.

I think that this might be the cleanest cut guy that I've ever found super attractive. Either way he's hot. Last night Dariane and I went and watched Step Up 3D and he's the main character. It was a good movie. Makes me want to dance...with this man.

I've had several of these moments this week. If everyone that is gone from me right now would come back that would be much appreciated.

The other night I got a text from a dear dear friend and she said that she wished I was up at the lake with her because the northern lights were supposed to be epic and it was the perfect night and she knew that I would be up for staying late and going somewhere with her and watching them. This made me so so happy. I miss her.

forget the horror here.

I wish that I could spend a summer...or even just a month with my dad.

We definitely haven't gotten along for the majority of my life, and I don't know so much if it's that we haven't gotten along but he hasn't been around. I have very very few memories of him from when I was younger. I've done my best to shut him out, not going to lie, but he pushes and pushes and for this I am thankful.

I spend maybe one weekend with him a year. We don't have a father daughter relationship but I wouldn't say that we have a friendship either. It's hard to explain what we have to anyone.

I'm totally his daughter in every way. I see it in myself every day. There are so many of his traits that I have. Him and I talked about this last summer when we were getting ready to head out to my uncles. We talked about how much the last few years has changed both of us and how we were both ready to put some of the stuff that's gone on behind us.

I still don't see him very often and it's something that I don't think will ever change. It's too late for that to change.

Regardless of things I've done or said to him or about him in the past I have no fear that he will always be there for me no matter what and that's something that I take for granted way too often. Sometimes it just takes a bit of time for me to realize it.

This is pretty suiting to my mood at the moment. Brilliant.

I want birds...tattooed on me.
As soon as money will allow me. Not sure of location...I do know how many. Either way I don't think it'll be too expensive. Just have to figure out location on my body and I'm sold.