My father called me yesterday. The father that didn't call for a few months because I told him I no longer wanted any sort of relationship after the way that he's hurt my sister and I and then when he finally did call I told him I'd give him another chance but then proceeded to not call for another 2 months. And then when we saw him at christmas he gave some sorry ass excuse about how busy he's been and tried everything he could think of to make us feel sorry for him rather than just saying sorry and taking some responsibility. And then after christmas didn't call for another month and half.
So ya, he called. And acted like nothing has ever happened. I don't understand how someone can do that. How someone can just forget the fact that their children, regardless of whether or not you contributed at all to raising these children, told them that they wanted no relationship and pretend everything is all okay. I don't understand and it really makes me angry and this helped to put this down on here. Please don't think that it wasn't incredibly hard to tell him i never wanted to talk to him again cause it was. it was just necessary after not being there for us for the last 20 years.
I can only stand to be hurt so many times before I want to cut off a relationship with that person. And also watching him hurt someone else I love is pretty much just as bad as hurting me. It's a really frustrating situation and something that eats away at me on a daily basis.
Onwards. Recently, since Ash has been insanely busy, and apparently she's the person that lives insanely close to me who I can to about anything I've had lots of time to think about things and when I have lots of time to think but can't discuss and get the necessary feedback I've been going slightly mad with my own thoughts. You know how that can happen sometimes? I had a slight break when I went for drinks with Steph which I was so thankful for because I needed to talk. Just needed to let all my thoughts flow freely and not have them in my head. I can't discuss these thoughts on here I just wanted to get that out. If you know me well you know these thoughts all ready.
Steph and I want to take a teaching english as a second language course and then go spend the entire next year in mexico. You have no idea how much this appeals to me. To experience another culture, to learn another language, to lie on the beach, to not have to wear a winter jacket. Oh I love all those ideas so much more than one can imagine. The class costs 1100$ though. So thats kind of where my problem lies...I really want to come up with this money though because I want to take that class and do this in the worst possible way and where there is a will there is definitely a way.
Okay, it was nice to get my thoughts down somewhere other than my head.
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I love you!
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