I have absolutely nothing to say. I mean we've done a lot of cool things and definitely things I never thought I would do but I don't want to ramble.
We've been driving for awhile, well about a week. We've seen some amazing waterfalls, heaps of rain, and some beautiful beaches...and there's still so much more to come.
There's a tsunami warning for the east coast of australia but we're alright. I didn't know anything about it until I turned our phone on and had messages from my family. Makes me feel loved. Don't worry guys though, we're totally safe. We even went for a walk near the water today...you would never know. We are being careful though.
I'm very happy that Canada has won so many golds. We're hoping to find somewhere to watch the men's gold medal game but we'll see about that, there's not too many sports bars around here.
Other than that all is well. We have internet for a few days so I'll hopefully post again before we leave here.


Here's another photo from our tour...loved the chocolate factory!!!

So…we’re camping.

And it’s alright, not bad at all. A little tight in the car and the nights get hot. But it’s good and something I will more than likely never do again for the rest of my life so I’m not going to complain. I know that when I get home I have a nice soft comfy bed to sleep in and a family waiting with open arms and that means more to me than anything.

We’ve been busy taking in the sights, driving through the rainforest. The other day we drove to these amazing falls in this national park and I seriously can not describe how beautiful that it was. I’ve never seen waterfalls of that size before. Maybe when I’m home I should go check out Niagra Falls. I hear they’re lovely. Today we were supposed to go sky diving. I had myself pretty mentally prepared, was ready to go and then we sat around and waiting, got a safety briefing and then waited some more, put the pants on and then waited some more. Then they told us that due to the weather there was only a 40% chance that we would jump today…so if we wanted to book another day we could. Hannah decided to get a voucher and book when we’re further down the coast. Hopefully the weather will have improved.

It’s less than two months until we’re home and I have totally mixed feelings. On one hand I’m really really happy about that but on the other I’m going to miss the freedom. But missing my friends and family outweighs that by far. I can’t wait to see everyone again. It’s weird when people ask how long we’ve been in Australia for and we say 5 months, they’re always like oh wow really that’s crazy. I remember when that used to be us asking people after a couple of months. Now we’re just used to it. It’s just life and it’s kind of nice. I’m dreading going back to the cold. What am I going to wear, all I own is summer clothes.

Carly ordered me my shoes for the wedding. They’re these pretty amazing purple peep toe pumps. I can’t wait to see them and wear them of course and be in the wedding obviously, that’s going to be pretty awesome. And for the social, it’s going to be so great to see everyone right when I get home. I’m pretty thrilled about that, not going to lie. Not only see them but go celebrate something awesome. Oh, it’s going to be good….and potentially a gong show.

I was talking to Dariane the other day and we think that we’re going to have like a weekly awesome dinner where everyone can come and eat and occasionally bring something and help out and it’ll just be good. And cheap, and a fun way for everyone to be able to hang out and not spend money. I don’t know everyone who reads this blog but those of you who know me personally are all invited…I’ll explain further details when I arrive on Canadian soil and get settled into my new apartment. Yes, this also means you mom…if you want to hang out with a bunch of twenty somethings…hey it could be fun.

I did some shopping for all you girls at home the other day. I found some beautiful stuff at a little market in this tiny little rainforest village. I hope you like it! I know I sure do. I’m having trouble because all the stuff I buy for people back home I want to keep for myself. Just wait, I’ll get home and have heaps of new jewellery and tell you all that I found nothing. Dariane, you’re just getting clothes…which you know and have already received some.

Anyways, here’s another ramble courtesy of me.
I miss you all as always until I can see you’re beautiful faces again.

Sensitive, it's true

I’m currently sitting on our private balcony eating leftover pizza for breakfast and looking at the lap pool that’s begging me to go for a swim. At some point I’m sure I will cave and finish this blog later on. We’ve been in Cairns for a couple of days now and haven’t done much of anything. However, the good news is that we have officially rented a car. So even though I blew a good chunk of money on that, there won’t be much more staying in hostels (except when we need to shower), or eating out (we’ll keep food in the car) which is what my money is currently going towards. In a couple of days we’re going to go skydiving so that I can get rid of my sneakers because they take up far too much room in my bag and so that we can do it while we feel like we still have money we can spend. Then we will also be going snorkeling while we are up here possibly because it’s going to be so amazing to snorkel on the great barrier reef. We’re not entirely sure of a plan and I kind of like it that way. We don’t even know where we’re going to go after we get the car. I suppose we will figure that out tonight or tomorrow before we buy it. Guess we’ll have to get some maps.

Anyways, I sat down to write this with no idea what to write about so it may be just another ramble which sometimes is fun to write as well. We went shopping the other day to this mall that was all outlet stores and we found one of our favorite stores had everything under 10 dollars. It’s too bad that it was all kind of crap stuff. Although I did find this dress that I was going to buy for 25 dollars was only 10. That was nice. And then I felt okay buying it. And an excessive amount of bangles for 1 dollar, that was a bit dangerous. I did only buy three but I did buy a bright green and yellow one and then realized that if I ever wore them together at home t would be john deere colors. Needless to say, I won’t ever be wearing them together at home.

I’ve been on a massive debate whether or not I want to dye my hair. I keep thinking I should do it because I can’t stand the current color but then looking at my bank account with everything that I want to do yet and think that it will have to wait. Plus I’m thinking about going a tad bit lighter than what you all are used to at home because that’s what it is here and I’m scared to let anyone besides Evelyn (hairdresser at home) do that to me. I just have a lack of trust with hair stylists. Especially since the one in Byron Bay forced me to get straight across fringe ( I hate that they call it that) and then went on to curl my hair for practice so that I looked like Shirley Temple. I don’t make a very attractive Shirley Temple…trust me.

While we’ve been here we’ve been called American (obviously), Irish (it’ unreal how much we get asked if we’re Irish), Scottish and British. And we get this regularly. I’m curious to know if we actually sound like that or if they’re just stupid. Do we accent different syllables now since being away from home for so long. Too bad no one’s asked yet if we’re from Australia. That’d be sweet, maybe I should bust out the fake accent somewhere. I thought it was good while I was in Canada….now that I’m here it’s crap. But don’t worry my aussie slang is amazing. I got all sorts to use when I get home.

I’m not sure how often I’m going to be able to post anymore seeing as we probably won’t have internet unless we go to Maccas and frankly we don’t really need to eat any more mcdonald’s. I’ve never eaten so much of it in my life and I can feel my arteries slowly clogging. Dariane needs someone who’s not totally helpless when I get home to whip into shape. The other day she asked me if I was sure that I wanted to work out with her because I would need to buy all new clothes. Of course I want to. A) I want new clothes and B) I’ll just start buying all the clothes I am getting here smaller so it’s motivation to fit into them.

This is long and rambly and I’ve put off going for a workout (swimming never feels like a workout though) for way too long. We’ll speak again soon I promise. Oooh and I’ve written two blogs (hopefully with photos!) for our other blog so check that out. Sorry I suck at writing on that blog it’s just harder to write than my own.


P.S.
Here's a photo of me hanging out with some grapes...just to prove I'm still alive and this isn't some random blogging as if they were me. Although no one rambles quite like I do.

feel the tide turning

I’ve had a lot of time to think on this trip. Don’t get me wrong, we have been pretty busy but at the same time I’ve also taken the time to evaluate a lot of things in my life. It’s been easy to do this because being across the world I’m away from everything. I can completely disconnect from everything if that’s what I want to do.

I’ve never really cracked into my childhood on here or really to anyone because it’s something I’m scared to talk about so publicly. I’m also not about to so don’t get your hopes up that you’ll find out my deep dark secret on the internet. It’s just not going to happen. However, I’ve taken the time to think about a certain relationship in my life that has screwed me over big time. My mom raised my sister and I pretty damn good in my opinion. She raised some good women and I’m at a total loss where I was going with that. Oh, right…she always taught me to forgive people, to get on with things, to not let things get you down. Most of the time, I’ve been able to do it. There’s just this one person who I can’t let it go. I don’t know why but it just kills me. Yet, last night when I was lying in bed thinking things over I realized I should let it go and I decided that maybe when I get home I’ll finally have the conversation that I’ve been dreading since Christmas 2006….because that’s when the relationship was forever changed. It was the first dinner that we all had together as a family when I got home from university. Anyways, that’s a whole other issue. I think it’s time I maybe take a step in the right direction, I’ve spent a lot of time waiting for the other person to come forward and take the initiative but I really don’t think that will ever happen. So, maybe it’s time I do it. I mean I know that the relationship will never EVER go back to what it used to be but I might as well make things a bit more enjoyable when I do see this person. I think I’ll do it, finally speak with him. It’s going to be hard but I think I should just tackle it..


I realize that this post lacks but I haven't had much time. We were in Margaret River and all we did was enjoy everything around us. And consumed some delicious wines :)
I do plan on writing about that in our travel blog sometime soon. We have a couple good stories from our stay there. Keep your eye out for it. I'll post photos as well because photos always help a blog post.

Seriously, love story, you can come around any time now.

hold on to what you believe.

I have a love/hate relationship with blogging at the moment. I’ve had some crazy thoughts/memories about something that happened a couple years ago…and I don’t want to start writing it down because then it will just all come out but at the same time I want to write it down because I want to get it off my chest. And so this leads me to the reason I have not blogged for a couple of days. I just don’t know what to say. And I’m scared that if I start ranting in my usual way then it will just eventually find it’s way to the surface.

I want to delete A off my facebook. I no longer have any feelings for him whatsoever and I’d really rather never see him again for a long long time, or really forever. However, I just can’t seem to do it….and it’s driving me absolutely insane. He’s done about nothing for me except give me a boost in self confidence, which I’m not going to lie, is kind of nice. But throughout the year when I was going over there, I had so many mixed emotions it was simply ridiculous. It was like a roller coaster that I couldn’t get off of, even if I wanted to. I was hooked. And now being here and learning about myself, changing, growing as a person it made me realize how over it I am. But if I’m so over it then how come I can’t bring myself to delete him.

This is weak I know, I just haven't posted in awhile. Life is amazing at the moment and I don't feel the need to share it. I just want to hold it all in and make sure it doesn't disappear. Yes, I realize this may be selfish. I promise you I will share in the very very near future.

I promise that another blog is coming soon.

I miss you and love you all more than words can explain.

We saw her yesterday in a small club in the middle of what felt like nowhere.
She was absolutely amazing.

he steadied his rifle with the target in the center.

So it's 9 pm on our last night in Dampier and I'm home by myself. Maybe shocking to some people, but to the people that know me the best this wouldn't surprise them at all. I sometimes like to think that I'm a people person but really I don't know if that's always the case. Does it make sense to say that I'm a people person to those that I love?

Before I met Hannah she was told by someone, I'll refrain from mentioning their name, to not be offended if I didn't like her because I don't like a lot of people. This caught me by surprise because maybe that's slightly true but I don't really think is the case. I'm not quick to open up to people but fuck I don't know I don't think that it's I don't like people. I have my small group of friends, and I'm very very comfortable with my group of friends, and I feel like I don't have this need to please people. We either click and become friends or we don't. I'm not going to go out of my way to stay out to all hours of the night when I have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning with these people that I hardly know. Don't get me wrong, I've made some pretty awesome friends here but I think that I know in the long run there's only a couple people that I will stay friends with for the rest of my life. Maybe this is harsh, maybe it's harsh that I don't go out of my way to please people. But I am what I am and I don't think that's going to change much. My mom never seems to me like a people pleaser and I think that she taught me well. She's one of the most outspoken people I know and that is something I admire so much. She's not afraid to say what's on her mind, or being a huge dork, she's just how she is. And she's a pretty stellar human being who I am so proud to be her daughter. She's definitely taught me more life lessons than I ever imagined.

This post just turned from being a giant rant to a sappy bit. I didn't mean for it to be a rant, I just feel like I have this massive cloud in my body and I want to sit down with some people from home and let everything out and I can't do it here and it's so frustrating. I so need my girl time and some vent time and some listening and some wine and some rolo ice cream and some delicious fruit smoothies (MOM!!!). I just need a chill out time and a talking time and a feedback time. I so so so so so desperately need someone to just talk to me and tell me that I'm being ridiculous or that I'm bang on.

Mom, D, Strath, Name twin, Cook, Carly, I can not wait to be around you women again. You are all the cheese to my Macaroni. (which seriously, I crave so so bad here because they don't have kraft dinner. I mean really what kind of country doesn't have kraft dinner)
You are the sour cream to my perogies.
You are the salt to my pepper.

Rambles :)

Holy Emotions at the moment.
I read a friends blog and was completely overcome. She writes in this amazing raw vulnerable way and isn't afraid to say anything. She lets you into a part of her soul that most don't let anyone near. I've thought about being that raw but I always hesitate. Always feel that that would be too much. I used to think that I was easy to trust and quick to let people in. It's only recently that I've realized no one knows my lowest lows, not even the people closest to me. I'm anxious and nervous to change this, but I also feel that a change is necessary to get over them. Maybe at some point I'll be bold enough to write them down on here. But for now, I'm not ready. I do admire my friends ability to let it all out and say everything that she feels.

We're done work and leave here in a couple days. I'm so so excited but yet pretty bummed out. I know that I'll never see a lot of people again which makes me sad. But I can't wait to be travelling again and then it's coming up really quick to only have a couple more months left before I'm back with everyone I love so so much.

hey, by the way does anyone know (a bird just swooped at my head....eeeekk!) if the groundhog saw his shadow at home? I know that it doesn't really matter but I'm always curious. I want snow when I get home. Although at the moment it's 35 degrees and I'm a bit on the chilly side. This will not be good when I get home and it's below zero. i will be freezing. Mom, maybe you should pack my like a massive snowsuit (please make it a one piece) for when you come pick us up from the airport. I'm just kidding but seriously...this good ole' canadian girl is going to be freezing her ass off.

When I get home I get tax back from here it's supposed to be well over 2 grand. oh, how I"m going to need this when i get back. Then the only debate will be whether or not I use it to pay off my credit card that's managed to accumulate so nicely. Or not so nicely, I've never had it this high before, but I'm thankful that I'm still able to pay a bit every month that I'm here.

I must head off to a delicious dinner now. It's BBQ tonight which means we get to eat the same thing everyone else eats not the usual crap staff dinner. I took my measurements tonight and since the 4th of November I've lost an inch everywhere on my body except my boobs...shocking (please note the sarcasm). I've put a lot of thought into a breast reduction and am still thinking about it. My back and shoulders would thank me so so much. Anyways, I'm happy that I didn't gain weight while we were here as just about everyone does.

This is a ramble. We'll talk more soon. Or while I'll write and you'll hopefully read.

Home :)

I wish that there was a snow storm outside and I was stuck inside all day watching movies, baking cookies, drinking wine, and just relaxing and enjoying life with some friends.

Shoes Shoes Shoes....and dresses.

So...I found these gems for 25 dollars the other day. Of course I had to swipe them up even though it's not practical at all to have them while I am travelling. I think I'll send them home. I definitely plan on wearing them for Carly's social and I can't wait. Going to parties is the perfect excuse to buy new shoes :)



And while I was in the store I saw these and obviously couldn't resist trying them on just for fun. I couldn't walk in them. How do strippers do it?? Those girls got skills that's for sure.



Now, all I need is a new dress for the little shindig. I'm kind of liking this one. Plus I think it would go really really good with a pair of tights and then the shoes I bought. Maybe I'd even splurge and get it in another color. There's this really gorgeous teal color. M



Or this one's adorable as well. I don't know why Im looking online though because once we're on the east coast I have a feeling I'll be doing a little bit of shopping. It'll be good and I'll come home with far too many dresses than I'll need.



Things are good, we leave right away and I can't wait. We booked tickets to this awesome music festival. Tickets were kind of expensive but we're both very very excited and are making other sacrifices so that we can go to this. The Killers, Gossip, Kid Cudi, Salt n Pepper are just some of the bands that are going to be there.

I miss the snow so so much. Just hearing and reading about everyone getting snow at home makes me want to be back there. I hope there's still a tiny little bit when I get home...although I know that everyone at home is hoping that it'll all be gone by then.

This is random I know. Dariane wanted to see photos of my shoes and so thus leading me into an online shopping fiasco.

Hey does anyone know at home if we can buy chalkboard paint? I have some cool ideas for when I get home that I scammed off someone's blog.

Lil D

A couple days ago I texted my sister and asked her to call me. It's so nice to be able to talk to her and just to hear a familiar voice even when we don't have much to talk about although we never seem to run out of things to say.

There's no words to describe the way our friendship has grown since I left. I am so thrilled to be able to live with her when I get home and I think it'll be really fun. I miss her so so much and can't wait to see her at the arrivals gate when I get home.

Everything Will Be Alright

Hang on my friend.

I apologize for the debbie downer blog post previously. Normally I don't get quite so real on my blog. I don't actually apologize for it because that's just me but I'm back to my old self again. My old rambly self.

Did I mention that it's my friends wedding social a mere day after I return home. I am unreal excited for this. It's going to be such a good way to see all of my friends when I get home right away instead of putting it off and laying in my bed for days recovering from the insane amount of travelling in a couple days. At this moment I'm totally not thinking about the jet lag. A few of us girls are going to go in and get a hotel room in Brandon for the night and then go to the social, dance the night away, and come home and fall into a nice comfy bed....ooooh and room service in the morning. I think breakfast food is quickly becoming my most favorite food ever. It's going to be fun. And I'm going to buy shoes for it today I think and going to mail them home. Can't wait! I'm just going to have to learn to walk in them because they're high, insanely beautifully high. I also can't wait for this friends wedding. It's going to be beautiful and I am so so lucky to be a part of it with her. Too bad my date just told me had a girlfriend...I mean I'm super happy for him. Not so much for me. Must. find. new. date. although he did say he wasn't bailing on me for the wedding.

Hmmm...what other new news do I have for you. We leave here very soon...and I am unreal excited. Not so excited for paying for hostels again though. Especially since I just lost one hundred dollars because we didn't book something in the right dates! FML. No bigs no bigs. You live and you learn not to book things on ipods because you may get effed over.

We found a good website to get our taxes back when we leave! I'm stoked that we'll get such a big chunk of money when I get home because I'll definitely be needing it. And I found a good website where we can just apply online so that's awesome because it will make it so much easier.

Anyways, here's another ramble. I have the day off so maybe I'll try and post again later on.

I'm scared.

I wonder how I can have so much to say yet not know how to form it into words that everyone will understand. Do you ever feel that way? That you want to get all your emotions out but yet you feel that if someone was to say..."Mandy go...say what you want and just get it all out and say exactly what you feel, and I won't judge, but rather sit and listen and give help where you ask". What would you say? Would you be able to just let it all out. I have been absolutely blessed in life with a small number of people in life who I know I can do this with. The only problem...is that they're on the other side of the world and I suck at phone conversations. I mean I love talking on the phone but really I love listening on the phone. I could listen to someone for hours. And I love doing this in person as well. Most of the time people wonder if I'm alright but I absolutely love listening to people talk. Listening to them get out everything that they want to say and exactly how they feel. This is something I've been lucky to do several times and I love it. How come I can't do it? How come it's something that I struggle with every day of my life. If I could just say what I want to say and express how I feel, maybe all my pent up emotions would come out. Am I scared to let them out, scared of what will happen, what others will think of me? I have no idea but I know I'm scared. I have so many feelings that I've never told a soul about. And I only realized it today. It just hit me like a ton of bricks and that ton of bricks hurt like a mofo. I trust the people I love with everything but why am I too scared to let someone in that close to me. Even the closest person to my soul, Dariane, doesn't know some of this. Will you all be there for me when i get back because I know I'm going to have to unload some of these feelings and it's going to be hard but it's got to be done because I need to let it go.