I miss the still of the silence

My mind is extremely scattered today. I feel like I have a lot going on and for the first time in my life I am having a lot of trouble putting a lot of my feelings into words. I think the lack of sun for more than a day or two really drags me down. Yesterday Nat told me that there isn't supposed to be any sun until Friday and that sucks. I can handle a day, I mean sometimes I even like a cold gloomy day but anything more than that and I get somewhat bummed out.

I've had a lot of things on my mind lately and things that are important and things that really aren't important. I have a lot of homework to get done. That's something that should be my first priority, but I'm not going to lie it's really not.

After spending some time outside today, I decided that to be able to live in Manitoba for another winter my new favorite things are strong prarie winds and ice pellets. Especially when they are combined. That makes for a really great afternoon. It's mainly just me trying to stay positive. This is something that is a struggle sometimes for me. I try really hard because I don't really have a lot that's shitty in my life and I don't want to be the kind of person to get run down or to complain about things but throughout the winter it always happens, I get down every now and then.

Tomorrow is my last day at Second Cup and I am so so excited about it. It'll be so nice to have every evening and every weekend off. It'll be nice to be away from all of the drama and the negativity that sometimes comes from working there. I just feel like I walk in and there's such a negative energy there and it's no fun to be around and can really drag people down. I am going to miss some of the regulars there though and seeing them every day. I've met some really great people working there, both fellow employees and people that have come in every day and we've gotten to know them. That'll be sad but I'll keep in touch with some of the people.

The day that we move out of this apartment and into the cabin at the lake is coming up pretty quick and I am extremely excited for this. It's going to be great to be there with two of my best friends just hanging out and having a good time. Beach, deck, hiking, i can't wait and I am so so lucky to have the opportunity to do this. To get away from the city for 4 months is going to be great. And I haven't started to freak out or plan for next year so we'll see what that brings when it comes.




I read a lot of blogs. Maybe way way too many blogs, in fact Katie tells me all the time that I should really narrow down my list. I tried the other day but I have become somewhat attached to these families that I don't know.

Anyways, the point of this is there is a family that has many small children and they recently had a baby that was told would not survive. They were encouraged to terminate the pregnancy but they made the choice not to. Then when the due date rolled around they had the baby and he was born perfectly healthy. There was no sign of anything that was wrong with him. It was truly a miracle.

However, in the past couple of days Stellan got sick and it's not looking to good and it makes my heart pretty heavy even though I have no idea who these people are. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Anyways, the point of me writing all this is to let you know to send some love their way and if you pray then pray for Stellan and the family. I can't imagine what they are going through but to see the strength that this family has is mind blowing.