So it's 9 pm on our last night in Dampier and I'm home by myself. Maybe shocking to some people, but to the people that know me the best this wouldn't surprise them at all. I sometimes like to think that I'm a people person but really I don't know if that's always the case. Does it make sense to say that I'm a people person to those that I love?
Before I met Hannah she was told by someone, I'll refrain from mentioning their name, to not be offended if I didn't like her because I don't like a lot of people. This caught me by surprise because maybe that's slightly true but I don't really think is the case. I'm not quick to open up to people but fuck I don't know I don't think that it's I don't like people. I have my small group of friends, and I'm very very comfortable with my group of friends, and I feel like I don't have this need to please people. We either click and become friends or we don't. I'm not going to go out of my way to stay out to all hours of the night when I have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning with these people that I hardly know. Don't get me wrong, I've made some pretty awesome friends here but I think that I know in the long run there's only a couple people that I will stay friends with for the rest of my life. Maybe this is harsh, maybe it's harsh that I don't go out of my way to please people. But I am what I am and I don't think that's going to change much. My mom never seems to me like a people pleaser and I think that she taught me well. She's one of the most outspoken people I know and that is something I admire so much. She's not afraid to say what's on her mind, or being a huge dork, she's just how she is. And she's a pretty stellar human being who I am so proud to be her daughter. She's definitely taught me more life lessons than I ever imagined.
This post just turned from being a giant rant to a sappy bit. I didn't mean for it to be a rant, I just feel like I have this massive cloud in my body and I want to sit down with some people from home and let everything out and I can't do it here and it's so frustrating. I so need my girl time and some vent time and some listening and some wine and some rolo ice cream and some delicious fruit smoothies (MOM!!!). I just need a chill out time and a talking time and a feedback time. I so so so so so desperately need someone to just talk to me and tell me that I'm being ridiculous or that I'm bang on.
Mom, D, Strath, Name twin, Cook, Carly, I can not wait to be around you women again. You are all the cheese to my Macaroni. (which seriously, I crave so so bad here because they don't have kraft dinner. I mean really what kind of country doesn't have kraft dinner)
You are the sour cream to my perogies.
You are the salt to my pepper.
2 comments:
You know I'm always here for you...even if I fall asleep and don't get your texts till the next morning...and then I text you back and you're sleeping. Maybe we should think of a system to work this out...haha. Anyways EVEN when we do this, text messages don't expire in a few hours :). I can't wait to talk to you about all this stuff. I'm getting more and more curious every time you blog about it. Love you.
I cannot believe that you will be back in just over two months. This makes me really really happy. I agree, we badly need some girl time. I went for sushi tonight and it made me miss you. But at the same time, I am so happy for you that you are actually doing this, living the life, going for something that you wanted to do. I really admire that you and Hannah actually went to Australia. And I am also jealous. But not bad jealous. Anyways, we'll talk soon. I'll probably call you on my birthday because it will be weird without you.
-Ash
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