I have tons of things on my mind to blog about...
It's a rainy day outside and I don't have work, so I hope that I can spend the day writing a bunch of different blogs and then I will schedule them and post some as soon as I get an internet connection again.
Sorry there's been absolutely nothing yet.
I got some sun this weekend and it was absolutely amamzing to feel the heat again :)
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Just a thought
Do you ever wonder who the hell you are? Why you do the things you do? How the people that you’ve met in the last few years have influenced you to be the person that you are now? How when you find out the way that someone sees you, your whole perception of yourself can change in an instant? Or is this only me that over analyzes and thinks about this and I know I put on this huge front that it doesn’t matter to me what people think of me and for the most part that’s true, but when I hear something either good or bad it has an effect on the way that I see myself. This wall that I’ve built up around me to prevent myself from ever getting hurt again needs to come down as soon as possible. Why can’t I just let the past go? Why is it so easy for me to just let go of relationships? I haven’t talked to my father since January and before that it was in September, when I told him I didn’t want a relationship with him anymore. This should affect me more than it does. I feel numb to this.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
No much haha, pretty soon boo hoo
Written May 15
I love the idea of all these scheduled posts because that means that people won’t stop reading this. The only thing is then I have to write a bunch of posts at once and I’m no good at doing that. There will be a significant lack of photos on here this summer because I’m not going to take the time the load them onto blogger. It just takes too damn long.
We’re going hottubbing tonight. Yah!!! It’s freezing cold outside and everyone likes to be half naked in hot water. I am hoping that we can download American Idol while we are at the resort. I was trying to earlier but it definitely failed to work and it’s down to the most adorable three men. I want them all to win.
Hmm…I feel like I just ate some raw chicken. That’s not good at all. It was just a little too jelly-like in my mouth. Oh well, I’ve been puking the last few mornings because of some sort of vitamin that I was taking. WTF? I thought that vitamins were supposed to be good for you, not cause you to vomit minutes after taking them. I was a little concerned because it was always in the morning and you know what causes morning sickness but this morning I decided to not take the vitamins and I felt great all day. Therefore determining, as my dear Katie Strath would say, I do not have a small four cell bacteria growing inside of me, which is good because right now I want some wine and wine and four cell bacterias don’t mix at all.
I had all afternoon to myself. The amount of time I have spent by myself lately is strange. I am not a big fan of it. When I was in the city there was always someone around, always something to do if I was bored. I mean I can take walks and runs and such out here but my ipod isn’t very good company. This evening I put on some poppy top 40 numbers and danced my heart right out as I was making myself dinner which consisted of a delicious chicken breast (which I accidentally dumped an entire container of basil on because the little top with the holes wasn’t on, my bad) and some raw veggies with Italian dressing. Delicious. And pretty healthy. If I’m getting into a bathing suit for this hot tub excursion I sure as hell am not eating any carbs prior. Might I add to this that I don’t even have a bathing suit top. I tried my old bikini top on, the one that fit me well last year only to realize it does a fantastic job of covering my nipples, but not much else. I tried a bunch on when I was in the city and found a really great suit that I was going to buy but then I looked at the price tag on my way to the cashier and found out it was 145$ and that was just for the top. Ya I don’t think that’s happening. So I’m not sure what I’m going to do all summer. And I’m not too concerned because with the way that the temperature has been lately I don’t think I will ever make it to the beach in my bathing suit.
I found a flight to Sydney for 1300. If I had 1300 in my bank account right now and owed nothing on my visa I might just consider booking it. I texted my friend Steph this morning to see if she was still going to come out but no response yet. Do I have it in me to leave everyone I love so dearly for 8 months? I think I could handle it, minus several long expensive phone calls.
I just found out that my most dearest and loveliest beautiful Megan is coming out to see us for MAY LONG!!!! I really have no words to describe how excited I am for this. That woman is the bomb. She makes my days and nights. AHHHH!H!!!!!!!
I love the idea of all these scheduled posts because that means that people won’t stop reading this. The only thing is then I have to write a bunch of posts at once and I’m no good at doing that. There will be a significant lack of photos on here this summer because I’m not going to take the time the load them onto blogger. It just takes too damn long.
We’re going hottubbing tonight. Yah!!! It’s freezing cold outside and everyone likes to be half naked in hot water. I am hoping that we can download American Idol while we are at the resort. I was trying to earlier but it definitely failed to work and it’s down to the most adorable three men. I want them all to win.
Hmm…I feel like I just ate some raw chicken. That’s not good at all. It was just a little too jelly-like in my mouth. Oh well, I’ve been puking the last few mornings because of some sort of vitamin that I was taking. WTF? I thought that vitamins were supposed to be good for you, not cause you to vomit minutes after taking them. I was a little concerned because it was always in the morning and you know what causes morning sickness but this morning I decided to not take the vitamins and I felt great all day. Therefore determining, as my dear Katie Strath would say, I do not have a small four cell bacteria growing inside of me, which is good because right now I want some wine and wine and four cell bacterias don’t mix at all.
I had all afternoon to myself. The amount of time I have spent by myself lately is strange. I am not a big fan of it. When I was in the city there was always someone around, always something to do if I was bored. I mean I can take walks and runs and such out here but my ipod isn’t very good company. This evening I put on some poppy top 40 numbers and danced my heart right out as I was making myself dinner which consisted of a delicious chicken breast (which I accidentally dumped an entire container of basil on because the little top with the holes wasn’t on, my bad) and some raw veggies with Italian dressing. Delicious. And pretty healthy. If I’m getting into a bathing suit for this hot tub excursion I sure as hell am not eating any carbs prior. Might I add to this that I don’t even have a bathing suit top. I tried my old bikini top on, the one that fit me well last year only to realize it does a fantastic job of covering my nipples, but not much else. I tried a bunch on when I was in the city and found a really great suit that I was going to buy but then I looked at the price tag on my way to the cashier and found out it was 145$ and that was just for the top. Ya I don’t think that’s happening. So I’m not sure what I’m going to do all summer. And I’m not too concerned because with the way that the temperature has been lately I don’t think I will ever make it to the beach in my bathing suit.
I found a flight to Sydney for 1300. If I had 1300 in my bank account right now and owed nothing on my visa I might just consider booking it. I texted my friend Steph this morning to see if she was still going to come out but no response yet. Do I have it in me to leave everyone I love so dearly for 8 months? I think I could handle it, minus several long expensive phone calls.
I just found out that my most dearest and loveliest beautiful Megan is coming out to see us for MAY LONG!!!! I really have no words to describe how excited I am for this. That woman is the bomb. She makes my days and nights. AHHHH!H!!!!!!!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Hope that you'll stay
Okay, I have a dilemma and definitely something I think that one should think about. I’ve been watching planet earth lately. I finished the first season of scrubs and this is the one other thing that I have kicking around to watch during these rainy days.
Okay, so planet earth. I am watching the one that talks about the future. The impact that humans are having on earth, the environment, animals extinction, and so on. So this leads me to my dilemma. They are talking about animals that are going extinct and a certain type of leopard. There are 30 leopards left. They have a few in captivity, in a zoo and they have taken the DNA and frozen it. Then they go on to talk about cloning and so on and reproducing these leopards in the future after they go extinct. So then, what makes it right for humans to clone these when we haven’t even perfected cloning yet? And why should we clones these after they extinct? We played a part in their extinction why should be try and undo our mistake? What about the circle of life? There are a million questions that I have about this and Katie and I have talked significantly about it. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I definitely understand trying to protect endangered species from poaching and doing it in their natural habitat but why must we always bring them to zoos. (I don’t know if you can tell but I am not a fan of zoos at all) I don’t know this episode just really got me thinking about the environment and animals and earth and all that and I don’t even know where to start when thinking about it. I mean what about the 100’s of species of frogs that are going extinct or the plants or the bugs? We need those too but you never hear about those. You hear about the big animals, the elephants, tigers, rhinos, etc.
Something that they do address in this episode is poverty. They talk about dealing with poverty in these countries before they are able to address the conservation of animals. They say that it is hard to go to a family and ask them to consider the future and saving these certain animals when the family is dealing with how they are going to feed themselves that day. People that want to deal with conservation of animals and address that issue also need to improve the well being of the people that live in the areas where the endangered animals are.
I don’t know if this is only something that makes sense in my head and not at all when I write it out but it is something that is important and something that does need to be addressed. Plus this is something non rambly and simple. There’s a lot more thought in this than in my usual blog posts.
Okay, so planet earth. I am watching the one that talks about the future. The impact that humans are having on earth, the environment, animals extinction, and so on. So this leads me to my dilemma. They are talking about animals that are going extinct and a certain type of leopard. There are 30 leopards left. They have a few in captivity, in a zoo and they have taken the DNA and frozen it. Then they go on to talk about cloning and so on and reproducing these leopards in the future after they go extinct. So then, what makes it right for humans to clone these when we haven’t even perfected cloning yet? And why should we clones these after they extinct? We played a part in their extinction why should be try and undo our mistake? What about the circle of life? There are a million questions that I have about this and Katie and I have talked significantly about it. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I definitely understand trying to protect endangered species from poaching and doing it in their natural habitat but why must we always bring them to zoos. (I don’t know if you can tell but I am not a fan of zoos at all) I don’t know this episode just really got me thinking about the environment and animals and earth and all that and I don’t even know where to start when thinking about it. I mean what about the 100’s of species of frogs that are going extinct or the plants or the bugs? We need those too but you never hear about those. You hear about the big animals, the elephants, tigers, rhinos, etc.
Something that they do address in this episode is poverty. They talk about dealing with poverty in these countries before they are able to address the conservation of animals. They say that it is hard to go to a family and ask them to consider the future and saving these certain animals when the family is dealing with how they are going to feed themselves that day. People that want to deal with conservation of animals and address that issue also need to improve the well being of the people that live in the areas where the endangered animals are.
I don’t know if this is only something that makes sense in my head and not at all when I write it out but it is something that is important and something that does need to be addressed. Plus this is something non rambly and simple. There’s a lot more thought in this than in my usual blog posts.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Is their innocence intact?
Written May 11, 2009
I haven’t attempted this in a few days and I have no reason why I haven’t. I haven’t done many other things it’s just I don’t know where I start. These last few days have been good. I feel so much more positive and relaxed. Today I took a walk along the lake to deep bay and back which is about an hour and a half and just listened to Xavier Rudd and tuned everything out and just took it all in. It was amazing.
Okay, enough of the lake and how beneficial it is for me to be here. It’s like a big detox from all the stress that was going on in the city.
I haven’t been as contemplative as I planned to be and I suppose that that is a good thing. Maybe. When I am by myself I can just get down pretty easily because I’ll just think and think and think about everything and then my thinking gets ridiculous. At least when I have someone to think out loud too they can tell me when I am being ridiculous.
It’s been hard to describe some of the stuff that I have been thinking about lately. I’m stressed because I don’t know what to do in the fall, do I travel, because I’m 21 and haven’t done anything in my life besides school. I mean I have about zero life experience, I’ve never placed myself outside of my comfort zone really, and I want to. Or do I go and finish school which is another good idea because yes I am really close to finishing the first part of my schooling and at some point I will need to get a good job, a stable job. But I’m not all about a career right now, I’m at a point in my life where I want to go experience great things and I want to just not have obligations and deadlines and things that need to get done. I’m hoping to find some clarity on this asap. I mean school will always be there and those credits that I have earned will always be there. And so will those countries that I want to go see, they’re definitely not going anywhere but ahh I just don’t really like I am ready to make this life altering decision. Even though I think that in my heart I do know what I want to do.
There's much more to this that I will add as soon as my mind slows down long enough for me to figure it out.
I haven’t attempted this in a few days and I have no reason why I haven’t. I haven’t done many other things it’s just I don’t know where I start. These last few days have been good. I feel so much more positive and relaxed. Today I took a walk along the lake to deep bay and back which is about an hour and a half and just listened to Xavier Rudd and tuned everything out and just took it all in. It was amazing.
Okay, enough of the lake and how beneficial it is for me to be here. It’s like a big detox from all the stress that was going on in the city.
I haven’t been as contemplative as I planned to be and I suppose that that is a good thing. Maybe. When I am by myself I can just get down pretty easily because I’ll just think and think and think about everything and then my thinking gets ridiculous. At least when I have someone to think out loud too they can tell me when I am being ridiculous.
It’s been hard to describe some of the stuff that I have been thinking about lately. I’m stressed because I don’t know what to do in the fall, do I travel, because I’m 21 and haven’t done anything in my life besides school. I mean I have about zero life experience, I’ve never placed myself outside of my comfort zone really, and I want to. Or do I go and finish school which is another good idea because yes I am really close to finishing the first part of my schooling and at some point I will need to get a good job, a stable job. But I’m not all about a career right now, I’m at a point in my life where I want to go experience great things and I want to just not have obligations and deadlines and things that need to get done. I’m hoping to find some clarity on this asap. I mean school will always be there and those credits that I have earned will always be there. And so will those countries that I want to go see, they’re definitely not going anywhere but ahh I just don’t really like I am ready to make this life altering decision. Even though I think that in my heart I do know what I want to do.
There's much more to this that I will add as soon as my mind slows down long enough for me to figure it out.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
All alone in the snow
Written Friday May 8th
I arrived at Clear lake today. My sister drove me up and we unloaded the car, and then she left. I haven’t heard silence like this in a very long time. There’s hardly anybody up here yet (maybe because it’s snowing right now) and there’s virtually no traffic. For a girl that’s so used to falling asleep with blaring sirens, this silence can be slightly overwhelming to say the least. I started unpacking. I didn’t finish because I’m not sure how we’re going to do the clothes but I started. And it’s starting to really feel like a good place to settle for a few months. One of the first things that I did was put up a bunch of pictures of everyone. That helped me out a bit.
They haven’t turned the water on and I am unsure of when that will be happening. They also haven’t opened the bathrooms which I really hope will come soon because I can only pee outside for so long. My sister and I went and filled up two big jugs of water in a big parking lot a little ways away from here so I am hoping that will last at least until they turn the water on or until Strath gets here because I won’t be able to carry it from there to here.
After I made myself a hot dog and unpacked some more I made myself a cup of orange mango tea and took a walk down to the pier at the beach to check out what I’ve missed so much – the 75% still frozen lake. I only miss it when it’s completely melted though. It was amazing. I am so happy, so happy here. This really is home I tell you. As many times and as long as I try and stay away from here when I come back I know that everything, no matter how chaotic my life may be at the time, is going to be ok. It has such an odd peacefulness to it.
As we were driving here, we came to this rather large valley and we were driving through it and I just got a huge grin on my face and explained to my sister how excited I was to have some really great friends coming out this summer because I am so excited to share with them this amazing beauty.
Okay, I can’t write this any longer because I am freezing cold and shaking and even though it’s only 9:30 on a Friday night I might just go curl up in bed and watch a movie.
I arrived at Clear lake today. My sister drove me up and we unloaded the car, and then she left. I haven’t heard silence like this in a very long time. There’s hardly anybody up here yet (maybe because it’s snowing right now) and there’s virtually no traffic. For a girl that’s so used to falling asleep with blaring sirens, this silence can be slightly overwhelming to say the least. I started unpacking. I didn’t finish because I’m not sure how we’re going to do the clothes but I started. And it’s starting to really feel like a good place to settle for a few months. One of the first things that I did was put up a bunch of pictures of everyone. That helped me out a bit.
They haven’t turned the water on and I am unsure of when that will be happening. They also haven’t opened the bathrooms which I really hope will come soon because I can only pee outside for so long. My sister and I went and filled up two big jugs of water in a big parking lot a little ways away from here so I am hoping that will last at least until they turn the water on or until Strath gets here because I won’t be able to carry it from there to here.
After I made myself a hot dog and unpacked some more I made myself a cup of orange mango tea and took a walk down to the pier at the beach to check out what I’ve missed so much – the 75% still frozen lake. I only miss it when it’s completely melted though. It was amazing. I am so happy, so happy here. This really is home I tell you. As many times and as long as I try and stay away from here when I come back I know that everything, no matter how chaotic my life may be at the time, is going to be ok. It has such an odd peacefulness to it.
As we were driving here, we came to this rather large valley and we were driving through it and I just got a huge grin on my face and explained to my sister how excited I was to have some really great friends coming out this summer because I am so excited to share with them this amazing beauty.
Okay, I can’t write this any longer because I am freezing cold and shaking and even though it’s only 9:30 on a Friday night I might just go curl up in bed and watch a movie.
Friday, May 8, 2009
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
Last night I had my first Houstons experience. It was pretty interesting. It was really fun but every time I go to a bar I just feel like a piece of ass which isn't superb. On my first round of the bar going to the bathroom at least 4 men did the subtle boob rub. Ugh. and barf. On the plus side we danced! and it was fun, because I really really like dancing.
I am on my way to the lake today!! Yah, it's going to be a lonely few days, because Strath isn't coming out until the Sunday but it will be no big deal. I can go for a run and go check out the lake and go for walks and see some of the people that I have missed so dearly since being away. I was talking to a friend of mine from out there and she asked who else I still talked to and there was no one. I don't talk to anybody from the lake anymore it's so strange. I mean, there are a couple of people that have moved to the city that I still talk to that I met at the lake.
I guess I won't be blogging near as much when I am at the lake because I won't have an internet connection. I'll still try and post every now and then. Maybe I will make some blog posts throughout the week and then schedule them to post a few days a week. I don't know how to schedule posts though. i am sure that I could figure it out somehow. Okay yah! just figured it out so now hopefully you will get lots of regular posts from me. It just might be a week or so before I get everything organized and make my way down to the internet cafe. They have this really great wasagaming wonderbar at the internet cafe...mmm.. and this great curry salad thing at the deli and this great jewelery from Lisa and ahh man I love the familiarity of home. And the lake really is my home. And ah the nature and the lake and the trees and the beach and the fish and I CAN NOT WAIT!!! Just to be surrounded by everything so natural is the best feeling in the world. I know that I love the city and that it's my other home but then when I come back to the lake I know that my heart is still half way in between the city and the lake. It's definitely split. This is getting rambly and probably not even making sense anymore.
Okay, I suppose that I should really hop to it and get packed and ready to leave Brandon. This is the last time for the next 3 and a half months that I have to pack. woohoo!!
I am on my way to the lake today!! Yah, it's going to be a lonely few days, because Strath isn't coming out until the Sunday but it will be no big deal. I can go for a run and go check out the lake and go for walks and see some of the people that I have missed so dearly since being away. I was talking to a friend of mine from out there and she asked who else I still talked to and there was no one. I don't talk to anybody from the lake anymore it's so strange. I mean, there are a couple of people that have moved to the city that I still talk to that I met at the lake.
I guess I won't be blogging near as much when I am at the lake because I won't have an internet connection. I'll still try and post every now and then. Maybe I will make some blog posts throughout the week and then schedule them to post a few days a week. I don't know how to schedule posts though. i am sure that I could figure it out somehow. Okay yah! just figured it out so now hopefully you will get lots of regular posts from me. It just might be a week or so before I get everything organized and make my way down to the internet cafe. They have this really great wasagaming wonderbar at the internet cafe...mmm.. and this great curry salad thing at the deli and this great jewelery from Lisa and ahh man I love the familiarity of home. And the lake really is my home. And ah the nature and the lake and the trees and the beach and the fish and I CAN NOT WAIT!!! Just to be surrounded by everything so natural is the best feeling in the world. I know that I love the city and that it's my other home but then when I come back to the lake I know that my heart is still half way in between the city and the lake. It's definitely split. This is getting rambly and probably not even making sense anymore.
Okay, I suppose that I should really hop to it and get packed and ready to leave Brandon. This is the last time for the next 3 and a half months that I have to pack. woohoo!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Eric Dane..you make my day
I have a confession. I am watching regis and kelly right now, which I HATE only because I saw in the guide that Eric Dane is going to be on it and he is really my biggest celebrity crush. Oh he is perfect. Absolutely wonderful. He also has a gorgeous wife. Ugh.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
A heart of stone, A smoking gun
It's rainy and dreary today. I absolutely love these kind of days, every now and then I think that they are pretty damn essential. I really think that they are great when you want to have a perfect excuse to just stay indoors and hang out. I am going to try and convince Dariane to do a puzzle today. It feels like a puzzly kind of day, and then I can take it to the lake and do it there when there's a rainy day. Which unfortunately happens a lot more than it does not especially in May and June.
This week we went to a women's shelter to volunteer with my sister. She helps them do the after school program and it was amazing. To see these kids and to know the types of households that they come from just breaks my heart. I know now, that that is what I want to do. I want to work in a shelter of some sort and I want to do counselling.
Last night someone told me that they thought the lake was still completely iced over! I hope so much that it's not because that's really going to suck if it is. This person that told me lives in Winnipeg though so I'm not totally sure that he is right. I will find out soon enough I guess. Only one more night sleeping on the couch. I can't wait to sleep in a bed again. There's just so much I have to do before I get there. So much to pick up. It's only now that I am really regretting throwing away so much of our food to make packing easier.
I had a really really strange dream last night. I've been having a ton of strange dreams lately and I don't know how to feel about it. I was biking down a hill on the right hand side of the road and there was a lot of traffic and then suddenly I was on the left side underneath a bridge and in so much pain and lying face down but not really remembering how I got there. Then I looked up and a friend of mine was there along with another person. I knew this person but when I woke up I couldn't remember who the second person was. I couldn't really move a lot and my friend insisted on calling an ambulance. I didn't really think that this was necessary because I thought I would magically heal and also I really really didn't want all the added attention. However, he called the ambulance they came and took him and I to the hospital. It was really strange though. Very futuristic and I don't remember a whole of doctors. Anyways the point of this was when I woke up I couldn't walk on my ankle and now 3 hours later it's still really really sore. I can kind of walk on it though. How would I hurt my ankle while sleeping?? It's so strange. That was a long explanation of a dream.
Maybe I'll do some point form because my run on sentences and grammar is really sucking today.
- I miss ashley a lot who is living her life and times in van for the next little while but I"ll get to see her on the 14th or something like that and then spend the next glorious 3 and half months living with her.
- I miss Carly who is far away in NB working for the summer. I also want to go see her this summer. Hopefully I'll get some time off work and fly out there, i think the drive is a little bit far.
- I miss vosters who I love to death and has an incredibly infectious laugh and is one of the most amazing people I have had the pleasure of knowing.
- I miss Amanda and her desire to just love life and relax. She deserves nothing but the best in life and is another amazing person who I am lucky to know and love. When you come visit we are going to have some really amazing times. I can't wait to see you and give you a giant hug.
- I am bummed being out of the city, but stoked for the upcoming months.
- I can't wait to sleep on a bed. This couch sucks.
- I just found out that the cabin is unlocked right now but my landlord took the only set of keys home with her accidentally, and is unsure of when I will see her again. I guess it's a good thing that there is pretty much no one up there right now.
- I have started to write a list of groceries that I need and it seems impossibly long. I also learned how to make my own hummus so I am excited to do that and save some money instead of buying it already made.
- I am planning out a running/cycling/swimming routine for the summer and am going to get in shape. Yah!!! I can't wait.
- Bullet points are fun I should use them more often. And put more pictures on here but right now I don't have any. Maybe I will document my grocery shopping experience and my laundry doing experience as those are the two next things on my list to complete. I highly doubt it though. I took a video of charlie playing with the fish, maybe I'll figure out how to put that on here.
This week we went to a women's shelter to volunteer with my sister. She helps them do the after school program and it was amazing. To see these kids and to know the types of households that they come from just breaks my heart. I know now, that that is what I want to do. I want to work in a shelter of some sort and I want to do counselling.
Last night someone told me that they thought the lake was still completely iced over! I hope so much that it's not because that's really going to suck if it is. This person that told me lives in Winnipeg though so I'm not totally sure that he is right. I will find out soon enough I guess. Only one more night sleeping on the couch. I can't wait to sleep in a bed again. There's just so much I have to do before I get there. So much to pick up. It's only now that I am really regretting throwing away so much of our food to make packing easier.
I had a really really strange dream last night. I've been having a ton of strange dreams lately and I don't know how to feel about it. I was biking down a hill on the right hand side of the road and there was a lot of traffic and then suddenly I was on the left side underneath a bridge and in so much pain and lying face down but not really remembering how I got there. Then I looked up and a friend of mine was there along with another person. I knew this person but when I woke up I couldn't remember who the second person was. I couldn't really move a lot and my friend insisted on calling an ambulance. I didn't really think that this was necessary because I thought I would magically heal and also I really really didn't want all the added attention. However, he called the ambulance they came and took him and I to the hospital. It was really strange though. Very futuristic and I don't remember a whole of doctors. Anyways the point of this was when I woke up I couldn't walk on my ankle and now 3 hours later it's still really really sore. I can kind of walk on it though. How would I hurt my ankle while sleeping?? It's so strange. That was a long explanation of a dream.
Maybe I'll do some point form because my run on sentences and grammar is really sucking today.
- I miss ashley a lot who is living her life and times in van for the next little while but I"ll get to see her on the 14th or something like that and then spend the next glorious 3 and half months living with her.
- I miss Carly who is far away in NB working for the summer. I also want to go see her this summer. Hopefully I'll get some time off work and fly out there, i think the drive is a little bit far.
- I miss vosters who I love to death and has an incredibly infectious laugh and is one of the most amazing people I have had the pleasure of knowing.
- I miss Amanda and her desire to just love life and relax. She deserves nothing but the best in life and is another amazing person who I am lucky to know and love. When you come visit we are going to have some really amazing times. I can't wait to see you and give you a giant hug.
- I am bummed being out of the city, but stoked for the upcoming months.
- I can't wait to sleep on a bed. This couch sucks.
- I just found out that the cabin is unlocked right now but my landlord took the only set of keys home with her accidentally, and is unsure of when I will see her again. I guess it's a good thing that there is pretty much no one up there right now.
- I have started to write a list of groceries that I need and it seems impossibly long. I also learned how to make my own hummus so I am excited to do that and save some money instead of buying it already made.
- I am planning out a running/cycling/swimming routine for the summer and am going to get in shape. Yah!!! I can't wait.
- Bullet points are fun I should use them more often. And put more pictures on here but right now I don't have any. Maybe I will document my grocery shopping experience and my laundry doing experience as those are the two next things on my list to complete. I highly doubt it though. I took a video of charlie playing with the fish, maybe I'll figure out how to put that on here.
Monday, May 4, 2009
i never loved you even in my weakness
It's been a little while since I posted things that I want from etsy. Which is something I check all the time and love but never order from because I never have any money.
At some point in my life I want a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. These aren't from etsy. I think they are beautiful. I may settle for wearing a pair of knock offs.
This is beautiful. and huge. and I love it, I love how colorful it is. Ahh I want it.
Yesterday I started my second ever blanket. I also learned how to make a hat...so I'll be doing that sometime soon. If I have any extra yarn. I suppose that I have some extra blueish greenish stuff. Maybe I'll try that sometime this week. Seeing as I don't have a whole lot else going on. I can't wait to be up at the lake.
At some point in my life I want a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. These aren't from etsy. I think they are beautiful. I may settle for wearing a pair of knock offs.
This is beautiful. and huge. and I love it, I love how colorful it is. Ahh I want it.
Yesterday I started my second ever blanket. I also learned how to make a hat...so I'll be doing that sometime soon. If I have any extra yarn. I suppose that I have some extra blueish greenish stuff. Maybe I'll try that sometime this week. Seeing as I don't have a whole lot else going on. I can't wait to be up at the lake.
When you showed me myself, I became someone else
I am nearing 100 posts. I only have about 20 left to go. Strange that I have that much information written down on this blog. I am afraid to look over and see about what I have written. I am an open book most of the time and I do wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes say things that are completely inappropriate. My honesty definitely gets me sometime. Another thing that gets me is when I post for the sake of posting because I know that I should. Like right now, I might just ramble, it might get insightful, it might not, I don't know how this post will turn out because honestly I don't have a whole lot to speak of right now.
I am sleeping on a couch until Friday. As great as this might seem (it is leather after all) its not so great. I like to sprawl out when I sleep. I'm just to having a large bed to myself in which I lie right smack in the middle of it and take up as much room as I would like to. (How do you like to sleep??) I also flip around tons when I sleep (it's really hard to do this on a tiny little couch) and I talk in my sleep. Needless to say, by the time Friday rolls around, I am going to be EXTREMELY happy to be able to sleep in a queen size bed. Katie thought that it would be funny if she took a picture because here Charlie and I were sleeping in the exact same position. Charlie just needed a pillow I guess. I woke up after this bright flash flashed and wasn't all that impressed. People aren't really all that attractive when they are asleep. Last night I remember waking up several times on this couch...vaguely waking up though and somewhat dreaming and thinking that this couch I slept on was really a hide a bed so I took all the blankets off of it and then tried to pull out the bed and it never worked. Man was that ever frustrating.
So far, it feels pretty good to be out of Winnipeg, I know now that I'm just in some smaller city with less to do and I still can't just walk down the street to Starbucks to get my morning coffee but it's nice. There's a high of 22 degrees today and I think Dariane and I will spend some time in the great outdoors. Well I hope we will. I have to start working on my tan, if in Strath's words we're going to be jacked and tanned this summer. Maybe I'll start training for the triathalon and do it at the end of August..haha, we'll see. The running part would kick my ass. There's a few people that I really miss but I know that I will see them throughout the summer whether they will come out to the lake or I'll go into the city. I miss these three lovely ladies
And all of these girls...and several others but I didn't want to search for any other pictures.
Even though I miss all of these great people tons, I really can't complain. Life is really really good right now. I just have come to terms lately with some things and it's left me satisfied with where I am going. I'm not going to constantly plan things and tell people about them and make myself excited for them because honestly, I suck at it. I feel like my mind is constantly going with plans and ideas which yes I do think is a good thing but I don't want to constantly do that and then come up short. It sucks.
I'm going to volunteer this week at a women's shelter with my sister I think. Seeing as my dream in life would be to open one of those up, I think it will be good for me to see what it's really like. I also think I will leave with a heavy heart.
I am sleeping on a couch until Friday. As great as this might seem (it is leather after all) its not so great. I like to sprawl out when I sleep. I'm just to having a large bed to myself in which I lie right smack in the middle of it and take up as much room as I would like to. (How do you like to sleep??) I also flip around tons when I sleep (it's really hard to do this on a tiny little couch) and I talk in my sleep. Needless to say, by the time Friday rolls around, I am going to be EXTREMELY happy to be able to sleep in a queen size bed. Katie thought that it would be funny if she took a picture because here Charlie and I were sleeping in the exact same position. Charlie just needed a pillow I guess. I woke up after this bright flash flashed and wasn't all that impressed. People aren't really all that attractive when they are asleep. Last night I remember waking up several times on this couch...vaguely waking up though and somewhat dreaming and thinking that this couch I slept on was really a hide a bed so I took all the blankets off of it and then tried to pull out the bed and it never worked. Man was that ever frustrating.
So far, it feels pretty good to be out of Winnipeg, I know now that I'm just in some smaller city with less to do and I still can't just walk down the street to Starbucks to get my morning coffee but it's nice. There's a high of 22 degrees today and I think Dariane and I will spend some time in the great outdoors. Well I hope we will. I have to start working on my tan, if in Strath's words we're going to be jacked and tanned this summer. Maybe I'll start training for the triathalon and do it at the end of August..haha, we'll see. The running part would kick my ass. There's a few people that I really miss but I know that I will see them throughout the summer whether they will come out to the lake or I'll go into the city. I miss these three lovely ladies
And all of these girls...and several others but I didn't want to search for any other pictures.
Even though I miss all of these great people tons, I really can't complain. Life is really really good right now. I just have come to terms lately with some things and it's left me satisfied with where I am going. I'm not going to constantly plan things and tell people about them and make myself excited for them because honestly, I suck at it. I feel like my mind is constantly going with plans and ideas which yes I do think is a good thing but I don't want to constantly do that and then come up short. It sucks.
I'm going to volunteer this week at a women's shelter with my sister I think. Seeing as my dream in life would be to open one of those up, I think it will be good for me to see what it's really like. I also think I will leave with a heavy heart.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
so much love to give
Friday we drove to Brandon for Dariane's grad. We left at 6:30 in the morning...ugh. but we got to watch the sun rise and I loved that. I was so proud of Dariane. They did a drill and there was speeches and it was a good ceremony. On the way we went past the wind turbines. There was probably like a 100 of them. It was so cool to see, I never even knew that that existed in manitoba! After the ceremony we went for lunch with the family which was really good and then everyone went their separate ways. It was a good day.
I didn't wind up going mud bogging this weekend. But I did spend the weekend with some really great people and had a good time. I got to spend time with the most adorable kid ever and I couldn't believe how much he has grown since the last time that I saw him. Here he is on the blanket that I finally finished for him! I'm so proud that I actually finished something and that it turned out beautifully. And that Sam has a homemade blanket now.
And now this leads me back to Brandon. I'm happy to be here but also anxiously awaiting being at the lake. I can't wait to get a tan and lay on the beach and just be there to hang out and relax.
I'm exhausted.
I didn't wind up going mud bogging this weekend. But I did spend the weekend with some really great people and had a good time. I got to spend time with the most adorable kid ever and I couldn't believe how much he has grown since the last time that I saw him. Here he is on the blanket that I finally finished for him! I'm so proud that I actually finished something and that it turned out beautifully. And that Sam has a homemade blanket now.
And now this leads me back to Brandon. I'm happy to be here but also anxiously awaiting being at the lake. I can't wait to get a tan and lay on the beach and just be there to hang out and relax.
I'm exhausted.
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