Charlie at my feet...everything's good

You know when you meet some people and they have this ability to make you think about what’s going on in your life, where you’re at, why you’re doing what you’re doing and so on. Well recently I have become friends with someone who is just like that. Someone who will probe me with these intense questions and really listen for an answer and can totally tell if I’m making up a bunch of bull shit.

I’m very comfortable admitting that I don’t have a lot of friends who I am extremely close to. There are a handful of people who I feel comfortable sharing everything with. People that I don’t feel like I have to edit or hold back anything that I am thinking. A small handful of people…a handful as if I was missing a couple of fingers. I have met some of these people recently, well within the last 6 months and they have opened my eyes to many things.

My life right now feels good. Sometimes, especially lately I have had some really difficult moments. But i feel good, and I’m trying to focus on the positive. I am surrounded by nothing but amazing people, people who are care about each other and people that I care about and they care about me. And I want to look at things positively. I know that I’m the kind of person who is easily brought down by things that they think about. I’m a lot better than I used to be, I used to watch something or listen to a song and start thinking about my life or about other things and then I would get into a funk for days and that’s not a good way to be. I want to be the kind of person with an optimistic outlook on things and not someone who can be brought down so easily. It takes work but I think that I can do it.

It’s sometimes shocking to think about how much people change as they grow up. The other day I was talking to Katie about scents and songs and how something can remind you so much of things from your childhood. Everytime I smell something that smells like blueberries, in particular I think about my friend Janelle and standing beside her in grade 5 or 6 assembly singing O’ Canada when she would use her blueberry lipsmackers. When you are reminded of things in your past and you start to think about different things that happened it’s amazing how you can see what formed you, why you have some of the attitudes that you do and why you think the way that you do. It’s just shocking when you take a second and really think about it.

I know this is random and not very well spoken but I’m not a good writer and anyone that knows me know my head is in a million different places at once all the time. Next time I’ll try and post something that’s a little more put together.