I'm Really Trying

I’m trying, I promise that I am. Writing blogs is a lot harder than I could have imagined. Actually doing it, sitting down and writing one takes time and effort. Both of which I feel that I currently lack.

I feel like I am always working and I mean I am, between both jobs, school, and trying to keep my GPA up and also make it better it’s getting intense…and very very busy. The thought has crossed my mind to maybe quit one of the jobs but I don’t know, I want money…I think that I am way too motivated by money, but I want to travel, I want to explore, I want to get out of Winnipeg and out of Canada for a little while. I know full well that I want to live in Canada for the rest of my life, but I also know that I really need to see some of the world.

Today I was reading my friend Amanda’s blog who has done so much in her life. She’s gone to so many places - overseas and she’s also lived in Seattle for a few years. I would love to do this, I would love to go places to live somewhere else. Just to experience something different than what is here.

Life feels like it’s changed, like things have really really changed and I’m excited, I’m nervous, I feel ready but yet so intimated. Katie and I have plans to go to New Zealand or Ireland next fall and it’s extremely exciting. I can’t imagine what things will be like when we actually start finalizing the plans and figuring things out and actually getting ready to go. It’s crazy and it’s amazing and it will feel absolutely so right, i know that it will. But I also know that I will miss my friends, more than I can imagine.

The last little while, I feel like my relationships with my female friends has grown intensly. I have gone out with them a lot more and opened up to them more and depended on them more for support and every single one of them is amazing. I don’t and I never have had close female friends, really close female friends.