Hold on, I need to get some water...okay back. And there was a little bit of tea left in my mug so now it tastes like orange mango flavored water...only with very little orange mango. Delicious.
Right, okay, back to profound.
But I find it hard to write about anything that's got a lot of meaning in life or something that's bothering me because I've been so happy lately. And I feel like if I bring those issues up then I might get dragged down with the thoughts.
There aren't a lot of things that get to me lately. Something that's always an underlying problem in my life is my father. He is someone that still has this incredible ability to cause me great stress whether he is involved in my life or if he isn't. This is also something where I feel like I have no one to talk to. I have a few friends who I tell everything to, I know that I am an open book and I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve. But this is something I don't talk about and it's something that's constantly been on my mind. I have only seen him at a family get together at christmas very briefly and I have no talked to him since the summer sometime. Things have been strained for a long time. I am also 100% willing to say that this is both of our faults. I am stubborn and no longer able to handle the excessive amount of excuses that spew out of his mouth and he isn't willing to try anymore I don't think. What does it take before a parent gives up on a relationship with their child? Apparently, not much with some people. I don't really want to go into details on here, i just wanted to get it off my chest. This is something that's really hard for me and something that I think about almost every day. I don't know what to do, or what is right and I don't really know if I ever will.
My family is one that I love to death. I never grew up with my brother so that's a bit different, even though I do value the time I get to spend with him and I do love him, it's just not as close of a bond as I have with my mom and my sister because we were the three musketeers my whole life.
I realize this isn't profound or great by any means but something different than my boring life to write about. Plus there's some photos :)
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