Let's get together and talk about the modern age.

I feel like this could be my therapy. I also feel like if I watch one more sad tear jerking scene of grey's anatomy I am going to drive myself insane.

It rained all day today. I love these days. We also drove to the nearby town to pick up a few things. So I got to drive in the rain. One of my absolute favorite things to do. Along with driving barefoot really early in the mornings with the sun coming up.

I have started this post a lot, then I've saved it, did something else, then came back only to delete everything that I wrote. I just don't know whether it's entirely something I am comfortable sharing on here, even though I do believe that the majority of people who read this know mostly everything about my life.

Earlier today I was writing an email to a friend and trying to explain to her how I felt about a certain situation that I thought was coming my way when it hit me. I am scared. Today I was to potentially see someone whom has affected my life and the life of someone I care about incredibly much in a very negative way. I haven't seen this person for more than 15 minutes in about 3 years now. And I would have no clue how to react if I had to. I am scared for that moment that I know will inevitably come. Do I pretend like nothing happened? Because I know that that person will. Do I explain how I really feel, do I avoid him? I just have no idea and I'm scared for this moment to come.

It's nice to know exactly what emotion you are feeling, that way you can change it and move on. When you don't know it just always seems to be looming near the surface.

I wrote this last night and just wanted to read over it before I posted it this morning.

Also do you ever have those dreams where you are dreaming and its just so unbelievably realistic and you are terrified that this is how it really is and then you wake up and you are just so grateful to wake up. I had this dream last night where I went to Mexico with a bunch of my friends for another friends wedding and then I was kidnapped...and made to be a slave of this crazy mexican woman. And they all had slaves, and they said I would be there for at least a year before they released me!!! And these women with the slaves would make people floss their teeth for them and that was like the greatest thing ever for them. It seemed like the most disgusting idea to me. Man that was strange. They also made you do everything else for them. Needless to say, when i woke up, I was so thankful it was a dream because it really felt like it was real.